Identifying Behavioral Concerns

When you notice one or more behaviors that have the potential to lead to violence, the next step is to identify whether the behavior is of concern. To do this, ask yourself the following questions: 

• What behavior are you seeing, hearing, or learning about?   
• Why is it concerning? 
• Are you concerned for that person’s safety or the safety of others? 
• Are there other contextual factors that may be important to consider? For example, has this person behaved similarly in the past, or does this behavior represent a drastic shift? Are there recent events or unique circumstances that may help explain what you are seeing/hearing/learning about? 

Sometimes a person becomes aware of concerning behaviors through someone else. This may be a friend telling you something about one of their family members or a co-worker or student sharing concerns they have about someone else’s behavior.  

Hearing about concerning behavior second hand can make us feel uncomfortable. It may feel like we are gossiping or not respecting someone else’s privacy. Remember, respectful and helpful communities are those that support members’ decisions to share their concerns with other trusted adults if the intention is to help a person in need.  

Gathering More Information   

If an individual shares their concerns with you about someone else, it may be important to gather more information about what they are hearing or seeing so that you have a better idea what is going on and whether it is something that requires action. Some questions you may want to ask them include:  

• What behavior(s) are you seeing? 
• How long have you noticed the behavior(s)? 
• Why do you feel the behavior(s) is concerning? 
• Have you talked to the person about your concerns(s) or about the behavior(s)? If so, what was their response? 
• Are you concerned for that person’s safety or the safety of others? 
• What are some contextual factors that may be relevant to consider? For example, are there recent events or unique circumstances that could be contributing to this behavior? 

Answering these questions is important because it helps us process what we are hearing, seeing, or learning about. It also allows us to distinguish between how we are feeling and what we are noticing. Sometimes, when we see, hear, or learn about concerning behaviors, we minimize or undervalue what we are noticing. We might try to explain away our concerns because we fear making a mistake. Doing so, however, may result in missed opportunities to connect individuals in need with assistance or support.  

In other instances, we may overreact out of fear of personal safety. Doing so, however, may also not result in individuals getting the help they need. For example, an adult who hears someone say “I hate my job and everyone who works here,” may see this as someone “letting off steam” or “being overly dramatic.” Another adult may react by calling the police or demanding the person be fired.